I've avoided the most offensive theories, so you can imagine. In no particular order of weirdness or wackiness:
* Barack is a 'secret Muslim,' trained at fundamentalist madrassa schools in Indonesia who will convert America to Islam after taking office.
* Related to the previous hypothesis, Barack is a "Manchurian Candidate," but replacing "Manchurian" with "Mussulman." He doesn't know that he has been programmed (brainwashed) to subconsciously activate as a Muslim upon election when he will force Britney Spears to wear the full face veil, etc. He now foolishly thinks that he is an UCC Afrocentric Christian.
* Barack Obama is the Messiah. Not a messiah in an allegorical sense but the Son of Man, al-Mahdi, Neo, Second Coming kind of Messiah with capital "M."
* Rather than the Messiah, Barack is the Antichrist. One website claims with reference to the name Barack Hussein Obama: "A simple [thought] play on these words will generate Barack=Iraq, Hussein=Saddam (Hussein), Obama=Osama (Bin Laden). And further: "...according to Overture.com (the parent of the Yahoo search engine) Barack Obama is the 9th most popular search incorporating the keyword "antichrist."
* As communist infiltrator. "The recent homage to director Pier Paolo Pasolini's body of work at the Vancouver Film Festival included the Marxist/Catholic/homosexual genius' prophecy that the ultimate leader of the Third World will be an African-American. Voila! Enter Senator Obama."
* Barack as the "Magic Negro." Suddenly in 2007, white Americans must elect a half-black man to compensate for "white guilt" over slavery and decades of depriving African American thespians by acting in black-face.
* Somewhat related to the previous hypothesis is the "Safe Negro" theory. In this case, Barack acts against African American interests by proving that racism doesn't exist when a black man is elected to the highest office in the land. Once elected, Obama will seek to dismantle affirmative action and deport Haitians from New York City.
* Barack as black separatist. Upon election, Obama will create a government for the blacks, by the blacks, and of the blacks.
* It would be surprising if I could not find at least one person who though Obama was an extraterrestrial (notice his ears). I did find those who questioned whether Barack was a member of a secret society. That could signal a connection with the Freemasons and Annunaki, reptilian beings from Mesopotamian lore often thought to have outer space origin. Of course, membership in secret societies always opens the possibility of connection with the Illuminati and the worldwide Jewish conspiracy [gasp].
* Obama is not really a black man but a white man from Scotland who through reconstructive surgery and genetic alteration appears as an African American. He thought up the ruse to help him break the ice with Michelle.
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